When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was “bad,” you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you?” But then you’d relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs” you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings; and even when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a “dog person” — still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along, and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, so I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh how I wanted to love them, but I became a “prisoner of love.” As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.

I loved everything about them and their touch — because your touch was now so infrequent — and I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years you just answered “yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being “your dog” to “just a dog,” and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your “family,” but there was time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will find a good home for her.” They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with “papers.”  You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet, and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked “How could you?”

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you, that you had changed your mind — that this was all a bad dream. Or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room — a blissfully quiet room.  She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes, and murmured “How could you?” Perhaps because she understood my dog-speak, she said “I’m so sorry.”

She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn’t be ignored, or abused, or abandoned, or have to fend for myself — a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last big of energy I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master. I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

NOTE from the author: If “How Could You?” brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly “owned” pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute this essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice. Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the world that the decision to add a pet to your family is an important one, for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious.

Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage spay/neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on — it could save an unwanted pet. Remember, pets love unconditionally … people should be so devoted.  

~ Jim Willis

.

God Bless and Happy Pet Parenting!

With love and good wishes,
jeannie.   ?

About jeannie:  I’ve been pro-actively involved in pet rescue all of my life. I founded Milagro Senior Pet Refuge© (Phoenix) in 1998, and BareFootPets (TM) in 2008. Animal welfare has always been and will always be my heart’s work. If my only legacy is that I save a handful of precious souls that would not survive otherwise, I’m good with that.

The post How Could You? appeared first on BareFootPets.

In an earlier post, I talked about the “It” factor — that moment that can sometimes happen in pet owners’ lives when they stop calling their beloved pet by its name and start calling the pet “It.” That moment when they begin to shift away from their bonds with the pet and instead start planning a future with the pet no longer in it. Here I’ll talk about several scenarios that way too often threaten pet owners’ commitment to their pets, and suggest ways to overcome those feelings and how to push through to keep your commitment to your pet–that promise of a lifetime together. Remember back to the beginning–you made a promise to your pet–you and me forever? Don’t lose sight of that promise when the bonds are tried.

If or when that commitment is tested, here are some tips to help you stay on track and stay committed to your promise to that pet who loves and trusts you and has total faith that your love is in fact everlasting and will never betray him. He knows in his heart you would never ever ever leave him behind. Let’s honor that absolute faith he has in you.

Betrayal Is Not An Option.

A promise is a promise–it stands the test of time. Forever–not just when it’s convenient. Are you true to your word? Is your love unwaivering? Let’s say your pet could understand your words–do you think he’d nod in agreement when you explained to him why you’re leaving him behind? Truth is, he wouldn’t be able to take it, not for a minute. Animals are capable of unbreakable bonds that I don’t think humans can even grasp. We give up when things get uncomfortable–animals are in it for the long haul. We could learn a lot from them about unconditional love.

“My New Fiance Doesn’t Like Animals.”

This is an issue that requires you to look ahead and plan accordingly. If your pet is your family, your sidekick, and you can’t imagine life without him, then don’t lose sight of that when you start dating. It’s on you to make sure a new person knows that you and your pet are a package deal. She needs to be in agreement with that all the way, no hesitation. If you sense that she’s just tolerating your pet even a little, then you’ll be smart to reevaluate a long-term commitment with that person.

Because there’s a good chance once the vows have been spoken, you may then find out she has other plans for the pet’s future with you. Now you’ve invited a contentious standoff between you and the new spouse, and guess where that leaves your beloved pet?  Probably at the shelter. Wrong and unfair. But sadly, too common. Don’t be the one who breaks his word and his pet’s heart because you let someone come between you and talk you out of your commitment to your devoted and loyal pet, who’s been by your side all along, the last one in your life who deserves to be let down.

Be sure to have the hard conversation before any commitments are made. Be sure you both are very clear about your intentions for the pet. Don’t leave any questions unasked or unanswered. Your pet’s future with you depends on it. And also think of this–it takes a very selfish person to split up a pet from its owner. If someone expects you to walk away from your pet for them, what else might they take from you?

“We’re Moving.”

There was a time when that excuse might have been acceptable, since few landlords allowed pets “back in the day.” But those days are gone, and it’s easy now to find rentals that accept pets. As with other situations, plan ahead. Give yourself time to start the search to make sure you’re prepared when the move comes. If you do find yourself running out of time, make arrangements for your pet to stay temporarily with a friend or relative. You can go on ahead and squat in temporary digs to get started in your new job, in the meantime continuing your search for a pet-friendly home. Once you secure your new rental, go back and get your beloved pet to come join you and continue on with you in your new life chapter. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

If your issue is with the size of the pet deposit and/or a higher monthly rent payment, then same approach. plan ahead by saving extra so you can cover that cost when the time comes to move. Don’t let it sneak up and surprise you, and then use that as your excuse to unload the pet. You’ll be called foul on that move for sure. Planning ahead is usually all that’s needed to keep your whole family intact.

“I Don’t Have Time For It Anymore.”

I can start this discussion off by saying simply “you’re as busy as you want to be.” If you work long hours now and Fido finds himself sitting at the door waiting for you with a tennis ball in his mouth more and more often, then you’ve chosen a lifestyle without considering his needs. Good time to take stock of how well or how poorly you’re managing your time. If the extra hours at work are temporary, for a few weeks or months, then have a relative or friend come to your house each day to walk him, run him, play with him, love on him, all those things he’s missing with you.

If no family or friends are available, then hire a dog walker, or drop him off at doggy daycare. If you can’t afford doggy daycare every day, start off with every other day. You’re his ultimate guardian and caregiver. If you cannot fulfill that role for any period of time, it’s still on you to see that his needs are being met. He’s not a ceramic knick knack you can put on a shelf and ignore, without consequences for both you and him. Think outside the box. Whatever it takes to make sure he doesn’t become the forgotten member of your family. Remember — if you choose to start ignoring his need for daily interaction and exercise, he’ll start misbehaving out of boredom and pent-up energy. And it won’t be his fault — that’s just how nature works. And if he does start misbehaving, you’ll become frustrated and start justifying the thought of “getting rid” of him. See — you ended up sabotaging your own best outcome and his future. Think ahead, be diligent, keep his future with you in mind with a loving and protective heart.

“We’re Having A Baby.”

This is a really lame argument. A little understandable, but still lame. It’s normal for new parents to freak out with their first child. They feel the need to clear the plate so they can focus just on the new baby when it comes. I get it. But don’t flip out and make changes you can’t take back, like dumping your pet at the shelter, or banishing him to the backyard, or locking him away in a crate, no longer an intimate member of the family he loves. You do a great disservice to the baby and dog both by giving them no chance to know and love each other and to grow together. Dogs love babies. Babies love dogs. Keep your new-parent fears in check, and you’ll see. Pets and babies is a beautiful thing.

“It Won’t Listen To Me.”

You can prevent this excuse popping up down the road if you properly train your pet from the beginning. When you first adopt or rescue your pet, use your skills to teach the pet proper behavior so that down the road he doesn’t end up in the shelter because he barked too much or jumped up on you one too many times, or didn’t use the litterbox, etc. If he’s your first pet and you’re not familiar with training, then get both of you into classes from the get-go. You can find trainers everywhere for reasonable prices, or classes at Petsmart; and, if cost is an issue, there are even tons of training videos on youtube for free. Abandoning your pet because it wasn’t trained is NOT an acceptable excuse. It’s too easy to get him properly trained, unless you just don’t give it enough importance.  And, of course, we know that would never be the case.   🙂

Bottom Line ~ It’s On You.

The theme throughout this brief post is that, whatever the challenge, it’s on you, as your pet’s loving caregiver, to ensure that he is included in big family decisions and changes. Don’t lose sight of his place in the family. I know that big events are life-altering and frightening sometimes, but keep your wits about you and you’ll be fine. The pet should not be seen as a liability when life changes–that’s still the same pet you have loved and cherished all along. Don’t leave him behind anymore than you would leave one of your kids behind. Protect those bonds, protect his place in your home and family and life and heart. Think of this–if the tables were turned, your pet would never leave you. A promise is not negotiable to a pet.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

God Bless and Happy Pet Parenting!

With love and good wishes,
jeannie.   ?

About jeannie:  I’ve been pro-actively involved in pet rescue all of my life. I founded Milagro Senior Pet Refuge© (Phoenix) in 1998, and BareFootPets (TM) in 2008. Animal welfare has always been and will always be my heart’s work. If my only legacy is that I save a handful of precious souls that would not survive otherwise, I’m good with that.

The post A Promise Is Not Negotiable To A Pet. appeared first on BareFootPets.

“IT” is what people call their pets when they stop loving them. When their hearts make a shift from loving their pet unconditionally as a treasured family member to feeling inconvenienced by the pet and seeing it as a nuisance, and basically wishing the pet would go away. This typically happens when the person experiences a change in their life circumstances (see list below). And the person starts feeling like the pet is in the way and doesn’t fit into the picture anymore.

Or it can be that someone around the pet owner is trying to influence them to give up the pet and is putting pressure on them, even tho the pet owner doesn’t want to give up his pet–like a new fiance or spouse, who has other plans for their life together and doesn’t want the pet in it.

If you ever notice your thoughts or conversations starting to sound like this, BEWARE. Your beloved pet’s time with you just ran out. His wellbeing is now in danger. Because, when a person starts to see their pet as “IT” and no longer calls him by his name … it won’t be long before they kick him to the curb. And they’ll be able to come up with 90 excuses to justify it. I’ve even listed some of the “usual” excuses here–the ones we in the rescue community hear over and over, every day, day in, day out, blah blah blah. Pick one.

Okay, so that sounded totally judgmental, and I apologize. The purpose of this post is in fact a positive and uplifting one: to help you navigate your way through these thoughts and feelings if they ever happen to you, while still keeping your pet’s wellbeing in mind. We know that life can change on a dime, and sometimes it’s true–pets cannot always come along. But we want to show you that, with a little planning ahead and a true commitment to keep your promise to your pet, you can make the transition without betraying his trust in you, and without leaving you guilt-ridden in the wake of a failure to protect him. This is what we’ll call your “final great and loving gift” to your pet.

How Do We Keep the “IT” From Happening To Us?

Unfortunately, there’s not an easy answer to that question. Human nature is kind of out of our control. Chances are the “IT” will happen to you. There’s no guilt in that. The fault will lie in how you handle it. If indeed your pet cannot come with you for this next chapter of your life, then it’s on you to do everything in your power to get him safely placed into a loving home for the next chapter of his life. He deserves it as much as you do.

The first moment you sense or have actual confirmation that things are getting ready to change, and your pet won’t be included, IMMEDIATELY begin planning for his safe placement into a new home, even if you have months ahead to plan, because finding the perfect home can indeed often take months. And every moment during that time is a gift that you want to use wisely. DON’T WAIT A MINUTE. That’s the biggest, most fatal mistake people make–waiting till it’s too late.

Get A Jump On The Clock!

When the clock runs out and nothing has been done yet to find the pet a home is when people just drop the pet off at the shelter on their way out of town. BAD BAD BAD. Shelters are too busy to advocate for every pet that comes to them, and there is no guarantee they’ll find your pet a home, and a real good chance he’ll be euthanized when the shelter no longer has room to keep him. Even if your pet is a purebred or the cutest little pup or kitten that ever lived. Doesn’t matter–shelters operate according to cost and space. That’s it.

Enlist the help of a local rescue organization, your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, social media. Get the word out that your pet needs a new home. Ask everyone. And, if a stranger agrees to take your pet, be sure to request a home inspection. It’s perfectly reasonable–and responsible–to want to see where your beloved baby will be living and to ensure that it will be safe and sound with the new family. So get to know them and make sure the pet seems comfortable with them and not fearful. If your pet seems fearful or just doesn’t like them, DON’T leave him there. Thank the people nicely and let them know you’ll be in touch when you make your decision. Trust your pet’s instincts, even if it’s inconvenient for you.

Also, request a nominal adoption fee–even if only $25. If someone flinches at $25, then chances are they won’t buy good food for your pet, either, or give it veterinary care when needed. Again–“your final great and loving gift.”

You don’t want the precious pet you have loved to end up in a filthy, unsafe home, or left out in a back yard without shelter, or without good food and water, or basic veterinary care, or emergency veterinary care, or worst of all, without love and being part of a family anymore. These are the things you want to be sure to find for your pet before you let him go. Remember–“your final great and loving gift.”

See My Upcoming Post “Out-Strong The Excuses” Syndrome.

In this upcoming post, I’ll address the excuses listed in the photo above, to give you perspective and encouragement for finding your way through the feelings of giving up on your pet; and also, and even better, to figure out how to maybe keep your pet with you through the upcoming change. IT CAN BE DONE. Most importantly, keep your commitment of love in the front of all decision-making, and you and your pet should come through it all just fine.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

God Bless and Happy Pet Parenting!

With love and good wishes,
jeannie.   ?

About jeannie:  I’ve been pro-actively involved in pet rescue all of my life. I founded Milagro Senior Pet Refuge(TM) (Phoenix) in 1998, and BareFootPets(TM) in 2008. Animal welfare has always been and will always be my heart’s work. If my only legacy is that I save a handful of precious souls that would not survive otherwise, I’m good with that.

The post BEWARE OF “IT” appeared first on BareFootPets.